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Today I started College Math. Ughh… That is not a rsponse in disgust of mathematics, that is a response in disgust of the class. To make this a simple explanation: Math comes easy to me. Algebra, easy. Geometry, easy. Trigonometry, easy. Statistics, easy. It isn’t until I get to Calculus that I actually have a challenge.

I’m not trying to be arrogant about this, it’s just true. I’m smart. This class, not so much. I am too smart to be taking this class, and I have an entire month of it. It isn’t even Algebra II, where I might at least enjoy myself with slight complexities in equations. This class is Algebra I, a class I finished in 7th Grade. I asked to clarify, just to understand my impending suffering. So far today we have discussed the Real Number System and Fractions. Golly (I can’t wait to shoot myself)! I even called out the teacher when he was explaining sets and inclusiveness. The most “difficult” part of this class’, aside from me tearing my eyes out, will be “…probably rational expressions.” That was a direct quote.

Tomorrow I will discover how easy my other class will be. It’s subject: Computers, Science, and the Internet. If math is easy for me to figure out, this subject does my work for me. One of the projects… strike that, the Final Project in my “CSI” course: A simulated computer build. If you know me, then you know my reaction to this and are probably laughing as well. $1,500 budget and a requirement of using 5 different sources to purchase parts. <– Fuck that. I’m going to argue that down to two since the Course Director must be a moron: NewEgg & TigerDirect.

This entire month is a buffer to me. The simplest GPA booster since Broadcasting in High School. I’ll update my frustrations after class tomorrow. Boredom has set in.

- Robert

Tomorrow after I turn in my Creative Writing portfolio, I will have completed my second month at Full Sail. Only 19 to go and I will be a college graduate. Exciting, yeah… sure. I haven’t started pulling together all of my papers for this portfolio yet, though. I’ve been too busy perusing the great interwebs for other good stuff. They are good stories, if I do say so myself. I’ll post them at a later date(probably when I find out how my professor and lab techs thought about them).

In the mean time I have a few other things to post for you to read. In my first month I had a few papers I had to write, two film-based, and the other a memoir. Before delving into those, the film related ones are not reviews, persay. The one on The Dark Knight was an analysis for English Comp. The one on Crash was more like a review, but had some certain questions I had to answer within it, so it wasn’t entirely a review. The third will be a memoir about the realization of being good in this particular career. Let me know what you think:

The film Crash is a dark, demeaning look at race relations in the United States, specifically the city of Los Angeles. It portrays nearly every character as a hate-filled time bomb that is awaiting its first available victim. The main character, Detective Graham Waters, shares his dismal view of people in his first line of dialog: “ I think we miss that touch so much, we crash into each other just so we can feel something.” Each intertwined story has as much racial tension and profiling as a Ku Klux Klan rally. The film was clearly written this way to provoke thought over the theme that continually slams the audience in the face. I saw it as an over-the-top propaganda film.

I have never received the level of stereotyping that was shown in this film, however I can say I have been profiled against. I have only been labeled a “cracker” or “white boy” in sarcastic comments by friends. My profiling is related to the financial status of my parents, and the expectation for me to exceed the income my parents have achieved.

I could not imagine taking the amount of racial hate that was placed on each fiber of the storyline. I was raised and taught in school to ignore the racial stereotypes and treat others equally. I have gathered friends of many races, and therefore attempting to understand the level of ignorance involved in being a racist infuriates me, as with many of my generation.

I was not really surprised, but more shocked by the character Farhad, portrayed by Shaun Toub. As the Persian shop owner who was so angry at the gun shop owner for being stereotyped, murder was not something I expected him to consider. The only glimpse of hope in this world of exaggerated discrimination is shown through the character Daniel, a locksmith played by Michael Pena, and Farhad was going to kill him because of his inability to understand the things Daniel said. The silent scream after the gunshot and sheer horror of Daniel’s loss of his daughter are the most vivid images this film imprinted on me.

It was Peter Waters, Graham’s brother, whom I felt closest with. He simply cannot understand how Anthony can spew out how the stereotypes of African-Americans are so flawed, yet ironically proves each one to be true. I cannot understand people who lower themselves to such disregard for others that the do not know. It astounds me.

Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand the situation, feelings, and motives of others. Of the roster of characters, I empathize with Daniel. I have not been directly in his situation, but I understand his actions. He works a job he in unsatisfied with, the frustration he shows when paged after tucking his daughter in, where he is belittled just so he can put food on the table and pay the bills. I empathize with him because I would do the same, if I were in his situation. Sacrifice for the good of the family.

The look of the film, in general, is very dark. This technical tone complements the theme of the film, and enhances it. Street lights are dim, the “bright” lights that do flicker, do not illuminate very far, and a dark palette of colors are used in paints and clothing. The silent scream that Daniel has increases the emotion by numbing the sound and making his pain be felt by the audience.

The ordeals that the characters go through in this film enrage the audience. It is a very thought-provoking piece and makes people want to change their habits. I found it to be too over-the-top and outlandish at times. That is not to say I was not moved in parts, but as a whole this film was more political in nature than entertaining.

The film The Dark Knight shows the audience a representation of the darkness present in every human being. It pushes the boundaries set by standard “comic book” films to make a new format that emits emotion instead of the usual supernatural awe. Through carefully written dialog and the intensity of the actors, Christopher Nolan has created a movie where the tone and characters convey a thematic darkness that is contextually based on the world today.

The Dark Knight takes place shortly after its predecessor, Batman Begins, as Batman continues to clean up the streets of Gotham. He has scared the criminal underground, and works to vanquish them once and for all. Harvey Dent, Gotham’s recently elected District Attorney, shares Batman’s vision of a clean and prospering city, and cleans up the streets through the tough legal system. Preventing the restoration of order is the antagonist, known only as The Joker. He embellishes in creating chaos throughout the city by committing murder, robbery, and any other form of destruction he desires. Batman and The Joker clash on a constant basis as polar opposites of each other. It effectively shows what happens, “when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object.”

The tone of The Dark Knight is told clearly in the film’s title: dark. Every scene feels empty of light, including the day scenes. The colors used in costume fabrics are the dark shades of blues, purples, and greens. The dark element that exists throughout the film lights up in the final scene of dialog, where Batman and Commissioner Gordon discuss what to do about Harvey Dent. The shot is of Dent’s horrifically burned face and is dimly lit, as Batman and Gordon talk about the atrocities he committed in his Two-Face form. Batman kneels, turning Harvey’s face over to his “good” side, remarking that Harvey is, “the hero Gotham needs.” The lighting darkens on the burns and shines brighter on the untouched side of Harvey’s face.

The protagonist in the film, Batman, is thoroughly put to the test in this two and a half hour piece. Bruce Wayne, arguably the alter ego of Batman rather than vice versa, is desperately seeking to end his needed reign as Gotham’s protector in order to be with the love of his life. He feels that Harvey Dent, Gotham’s recently elected District Attorney, is the hero that can replace him. Unfortunately, the maniacal menace of The Joker is preventing his retirement and causes the white knight of Gotham, Harvey Dent, to become a criminal as well. Psychologically, Batman struggles with the darkness inside him by refusing to kill The Joker because of, “some misplaced sense of honor.”

The film contextually “hits home” with audience members because of the need to have a hero, and the fear of chaos. Harvey Dent represents the hero that the world feels it needs in order to pull out of the dark times being faced. The manifested hero connects the audience to the character, and its underlying theme. In the current time, an election is about to take place that can turn the tide in the world. The election for President of the United States is the opportunity the American public has to choose its own hero. This film gives the inspiration to choose, “not the hero we need right now, but the hero we deserve.” The fear of chaos and raging anarchy is directly linked to the unstoppable Joker. The context represented by him is that of the threats and acts of terrorism that paralyze some on a daily basis. This piece shows that there is hope at the end of the day, and it is worth fighting for.

Christopher Nolan, director of The Dark Knight, has created a visual story that connects and inspires the viewers through its real-life metaphors, believable characters, and visual texture. This true-crime drama tale has inter-twined storylines that arc to draw in each potential audience and make them believe in brighter days ahead. By creating this film with such a dark overall theme, the audience goes searching for the light, and feels relieved upon finding it.

My childhood consisted of two things: school and Boy Scouts. My parents immersed my entire family in it. The conflicting schedules left sports out of the question. Education was vitally important, as was building character. My two brothers and I were all too young to understand what “character” even was, we just knew that we would be able to make small racecars, earn badges and pins, and take trips to interesting places, all of which would be rewarded. It was nirvana for children with egos.

Every month all of the scouts would gather and we would stand up in front of other scouts and their families and be applauded for visiting a museum, coming in third place in the Pinewood Derby, or learning to play marbles. Numerous things that to any adult would seem trivial, we were congratulated and told, “Well done!”

Upon reaching my sophomore year in high school, I was able to add another element to my roster. Broadcasting class, an elective course and therefore classified as a “filler class,” was where I learned the basics of video production. I was learning everything I could because I enjoyed video production just as I enjoyed scouting. It was finally something where my creativity could lead me to create something completely unique, a visual representation of the images in my head.

An opportunity that was available by taking this course was to videotape the school’s football team each Friday night. I leaped at the opportunity to participate in sports in any fashion as my overprotective parents objected to anything where physical contact was involved. The assumption my brothers and I shared was that our parents feared dismemberment or some other horrible accident would happen if we were to be on the team. Standing on the side of the field proved that although being quartered was not likely, bruises were.

As the most attentive in class, and the only one brave enough to stand on the field to videotape the games, I was put in charge of editing the promotional videos with the footage I shot each week. The video clips, dubbed “promos” were shown each Friday during the morning announcements.

Since I was essentially the only one to be working on the project, I was given free creative reign on how to cut the video that I had recorded. As I captured the footage onto an available drive, I would piece together a vision of what I wanted that week’s promo to be. I would immediately delete the unnecessary footage, add an adrenaline-pumping audio track, and cut the footage to the audio. I didn’t think about what I was doing. I saw my goal and made the alterations needed to fit my tangible work to the abstract idea that formed in my imagination.

The promos had never been done before. It was a new addition to the course as well as the new teacher. After a month of rolling out new beat-driven all-action promos for each Friday morning, the Head Football Coach decided to visit the class. He briefly spoke to the teacher and left the classroom. My teacher later asked to speak with me out in the hall, a sign that normally means that I had done something wrong. He informed me that the student attendance at our school’s football games had increased fifteen percent since the beginning of the season. Slightly anxious to learn what I had done wrong, I asked, “That’s nice and all, but what does it have to do with me? I thought I was in trouble or something.” “No, you’re not in trouble,” he said, “I just thought you would want to know that your videos are the reason for the increase in student attendance. It’s because they catch the attention of the students and make them want to go to the game. They’re awesome.” I had been told, “good job” and “that’s neat” before. In hindsight, I wish I could have remarked with something other than, “Oh, cool.”

It was the summer of 2005 when video production and scouting collided. At the age of sixteen I was allowed to participate as a staff member in the National Scout Jamboree at Fort A.P. Hill, Virginia. The job I chose was in the video production department of the area designated “Arena Shows.” Staff members arrived ten days prior to the 44,000 other scouts that participate in the event that occurs every four years.

As I walked into the production trailer, four sets of eyes immediately turned to me. The man sitting behind the desk asked, “Are you the guy that knows Final Cut?” My answer, “I know how to use Final Cut, but I don’t think I am the guy that knows.” They had been in touch with another scout that had “significant experience” with the software, automatically designating me inferior in every way.

For the next few days, as we prepared for the first show, I was commissioned to shoot the assembly of the Jamboree. A twelve pound black camera in the hot Virginia sun was not something I was comfortable with. At least the football games I shot in high school were at night on a small hand-held camera. I had to find something else to do.

By the end of the first week, I decided to apply the selective knowledge I had with the Final Cut program into creating a video of my own. I was given permission since there was more footage coming in than David, the guy, had use for. David had somehow given the impression that he was a wizard with a Macintosh, without intention of doing so, and only knew as much about the program as I did. He was in a rut, and I was going to kill two birds with one stone. I began editing my own video to be shown and remained out of the hot sun and inside the air-conditioned production trailer.

I completed the first draft of my video within a day. By the end of the next, it was fine-tuned and completely rendered. At this point, David was still struggling to pull his first draft together. With the first show a matter of days away, a third video still needed to be made. The Arena Shows Director watched my completed project with a smile on his face and asked if I wanted to make the final video. Being the underdog, I was more than willing to provide them with another visual masterpiece.

I selected a music track to use as the foundation of the piece and sorted through used and useless footage, only to find that what I needed in order to complete the video was not among the captured footage. Given the encroaching deadline, I informed the Director of the situation. He called every single camera crew back to the Arena and into the trailer. He briefly spoke about the lack of needed footage to complete my work, and handed it over to me to explain what I needed. A sixteen-year-old Boy Scout was telling professional cameramen and women what to do. It was the first time I was able to take a step back and think about why this had happened.

First, my teacher told me that my work was “awesome.” Next, I had given my employer a smile after seeing what I was capable of. Now I had men and women twice my age taking direction in order for me to make my Director smile again. “I am good at this,” I thought, “really good.” I had been told, “good job” and “that’s neat” before. Now, I actually believe it.

*Names were changed since I couldn’t remember the guy‘s real name.

- Robert

Papers are signed, money is allocated, dates are set, and I am ready. This has been about two years in the works, with the brief stint of me thinking that engineering was the right path removed. I found Full Sail while still in high school, Vess can attest to that, chose a different path for a stupid reason, and corrected my error by following what my heart told me was right. Some people are never lucky enough to get that feeling and work meaningless jobs through their entire life to pay off their cars and mortgages.

I begin my program on the 7th of July with the standard Registration and Orientation. This will last a few hours and I get to go back home. The next day I get my Film-Specific laptop(about $10,000 worth of hardware and software for $2,620; Thanks Apple!). The 9th of July I begin my classes and my career as a Filmmaker. No, to some of you that I know will ask, I will not be making porn. At this point I would like to set myself up to be a Writer/Director, Editor, or Producer, but I won’t decide for sure for a while. There is a lot of learning that I need to do before I can plan my exact career path. The ‘for sure’ plan is that I will be in the Hollywood Filmmaking arena. I will do Music Videos or Commercial shoots to pay the bills if needed, but I want to be onset for the real Hollywood action.

Let me take a second here to brag/explain this ‘Full Sail’ thing to you. Full Sail is an Entertainment Media college that has an excellent repertoire with the industries of Film, Music, Game Design, and Show Production and Touring. There are other majors, but those are the industries they fit into mainly.

The Film program is ranked in the top 5 in the country next to UCLA and NYU (the best, and for a heavy co$t too). The school runs like the industry, develops its program around the industry standards, and trains the students with the same programs and equipment that will be used after graduation. Classes run ~40 hours a week with both Lectures and Labs and a Bachelor of Science degree is completed in only 21 months. The graduation rate for 2003 to now in the film program… 88%(the national average is about 40%). The school is perfect. I’ve been on a tour of campus twice, and it just felt right. The students are all creative, passionate, goal-oriented people with the same passions to make movies, music, or games the absolute best that they can.

Back to the main topic:

Either I am now, or will be a Film Student. I haven’t quite decided when I want to take that title on. I’ve used it on occasion, but when the girls ask for money as they put their clothes on, it’s hard to explain that I actually am a film student, not a hardened industry professional with a one-liner that gets their clothes off. Just because I film it doesn’t mean I’m willing to jumpstart their career as a cheap slut — Okay, not really. That was a joke. No offense to aspiring cheap sluts/pornstars.

I am a film student, with aspirations to make it big, but the desire to only do the best that I can. I leave the final destination of my career to God or fate(pick one based on your own religious beliefs).

I have about three solid ideas for films I would like to make, with a couple more as skeletons that need to be fleshed. I don’t know if I’ll get to make any of them, but I will try my hardest. Getting a production team and financing will be the hard part, especially being a first-time filmmaker. Who knows, I may have to work in mediocre production crew positions before my name is out there enough. We shall see.

I’m rambling rather than discussing… But hey, you’re still reading it. Up, down. Zig, zag. Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy. Purple. Horseshoe. DurkaDurkaDurka.

My apologies, it’s late. Thanks for reading. I’ll write some more of these as my education kicks off.

–Robert